ACCIDENT, MD - (April 31, 2008) TBSR*, after extensive research** has reached a scientific consensus that public gatherings at coffee shops constitutes a severe hazard to the public health.
Such gatherings encourage the spread of contagious diseases and severe economic pressures on businesses and governments that are deprived of the revenue expended on such beverages.
Therefore, we are calling for a Federal environmental user fee of $20.00 on each beverage containing coffee that is served in those establishments.
The funds will be used to educate the public on the dangers of gathering in public places to consume coffee. Additionally the public will be informed of the severe drain on the money supply caused by individuals paying $5.00 for a cup of coffee.
Any surplus funds will be directed at improving the orientation camps (public schools) regards more effective brainwashing of the captive subjects.
Our sincere hope is that Congress will immediately address this important social crisis and fast track the bill.
Footnote: This crisis has been extensively documented in the MSM and on a mirade of Internet sites.
* Total BS Research 
** Ten minutes
NOTE: We would like to thank THE UPSSA for their encouragement on following thru on this research project.
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